Sometimes in the middle of a current experience, I recall an earlier one. Reading some one’s blog I recall past events and situations that I’m grateful are over. Earlier while talking with my husband I remembered my best friend from middle school. I owe her an apology. Maybe.
Truth is, I don’t really know what I owe her, but I feel something fierce right now about her. I’ve outgrown people. Some people I’ve outgrown more than once, it doesn’t mean I don’t like them as people-but, like love lost, sometimes things unravel and I’m secure enough (now) to let that happen. Besides, you never know when someone might yo-yo back to you. Or not, either way, life is a journey, who am I to force “fate.” (I write that very tongue in cheek.)
Back to Moose. I spent a lot of time at her house. I can recall the way her room smelled, the way she made spaghetti, the laughter of her mother as we ate dinner, watched baseball on tv and snuck nail polish on the porch. My father drank a bit as I was growing up. Things weren’t always stable and I had a crazy uncle that I idolized. Fortunately, I ignored his insanity and loved him while he was around. I still love my dad. He doesn’t drink like he used to, but he’s still a work in progress (we all are).
Today I remembered going to Moose’s house after cross country practice, my feet still hot from the run, my stomach empty, my heart heavy & I recall the feeling of acceptance, sensations of love and the pool of patience I got from her and her family. Acceptance is something that’s rare to find when you’re struggling and confused.
Today I’m grateful for what I got, clearly-I needed it.
Thanks Moose, I hope wherever you are and whatever you’re doing-you’re happy, you sure deserve it.
Other/unrelated, check out Nikki’s blog.
Wardrobe Refashion: I signed up to start next month-an attempt to merge my love of craft and get me to blog more to report my progress. Wish me luck, it’ll mean I stay up later and stick to my craft deadlines instead of playing Aion, watching bad tv or baking.