When humans participate in ceremony, they enter a sacred space. Everything outside of that space shrivels in importance. Time takes on a different dimension. Emotions flow more freely. The bodies of participants become filled with the energy of life, and this energy reaches out and blesses the creation around them. All is made new; everything becomes sacred.
I haven’t had much desire to write lately. It’s strange given how many things have changed and how busy we’ve been. I suspect that all of my energy is being balances between our family & my career.
I’ve also been running more. I love running. It feels like home. This week was slow for me and I didn’t get out, but I need new shoes. Saying I need new shoes-seems like a cop out, but without better shoes, I’m risking injury and I can feel that. I need all the support I can get right now. I ache more and it takes me longer to recover after a hard run. My body has changed dramatically since having Kale; at least that’s part of what I attribute the struggle I often experience to.
Kale is doing well, he’s getting big and he’s very verbal. We recently went on vacation and got married. I know, you’re reading that and you’re thinking how strange it is that I didn’t emphasize that latter more. Marrying Michael has felt like one of the most normal and natural things I’ve ever done.
People were asking me if I was scared or nervous or even reluctant, I wasn’t. Maybe it’s that we’ve already been living the part, but I suspect that it has more to do with coming to a general peace of mind. I trust him. It’s been difficult for me to trust people in the past, but Michael has proven in our time together that he’s reliable and sincere. I don’t have a reason to doubt him, nor do I have any fears that he’ll hurt or abandon us. (And, I’ve already told him if he leaves-I get Grimlock & the baby-he would be a fool to part with either..)
The summer is rapidly coming to a close. The days already feel shorter and though I have plenty of days left to wear capris and shorts, Kale will never be this little again. Every day I try to spend as much time as I can with him and appreciate him. I joke that I can’t imagine having another child because I don’t know that I can love another kid as much as I love him, but I know that I’m wrong, there’s always more room for love.