Today I got to talk an old friend/former co-worker. I haven’t talked to her for half a year & it was nice to catch up. We’ve been playing phone tag and I’ve wondered how she was doing. Chatting with her reminded me about the power of a positive attitude coupled with hard work. It’s nice to reconnect to people. Despite being busy and tired, I enjoy time with my friends and lately that’s something I’ve needed more of-simple uncomplicated time with women. (And yes, sometimes time with my one solid male friend, love you DJ Serge.)
As an adult, it’s proven harder for me to make friends. Someone in our clinical meeting today mentioned that Phoenix wasn’t the friendliest town, though there are things to do, making friends is hard. I agreed. Since moving here, it has been harder to make good long term friends, to connect to people. I know some of it had to do with me and my priorities in the past. However, I believe I have a lot to offer in a friendship, but sometimes I think I don’t have very many good friends. I’ve spent lots of time with women hoping it would become a friendship, but it doesn’t always and I never know what to do at that point. Friendship to me is about closeness and sharing. I’ve never really been content with casual encounters. They don’t quite provide the substance that a solid friendship does.
I mean after hanging out, what happens? How many times do you suggest doing something with someone to have them never bite?
I give up easier than I used to. Maybe I’m jaded, or maybe, maybe I figure if I’m willing to say, “hey, let’s do x, or I’d like to do x with you..” that people will respond. Most don’t. So, now, I don’t really put much effort in. I just kind of go about my own way and cling to the friends I do have & thank my lucky stars for them.
A life goal of mine is to one day have enough close friends to throw a big holiday cookie party. I know, it’s silly, but I think it would be fun.
After reading this post, I think it’s funny that as a therapist I’m writing about wanting more friends. It sounds unappreciative and petty. I do appreciate my friends and I think I’d also enjoy an having more friends so that I had more people to do things with and felt less of a void during the holidays. It would also be nice to have people to do things with on a more regular basis.
So, in the mean time, I’ll work on celebrating what I do have. Like my friend said today, “it’s all about today, don’t plan too much.”