Belated grateful list:

  1. Michael.  Michael has taught me many valuable things in the time we’ve been together.  He’s my best friend and I can’t say enough how much I love him. Even when he’s making fun of my movies, no I will not “treat you like a man.” (!)
  2. The opportunity to have a child. Cheeto, I can’t wait to meet you.
  3. A career that is both challenging & rewarding.
  4. A safe and cozy home.
  5. Friends & family.
  6. The universe.  Like really, no joke.

Oddly, there was more on the list when I thought about it, but now it’s pretty short.  It’s the core that I’m really grateful for.  I could find 30 things to be grateful for in this moment, but they can’t compare to just having a general sense of feeling thankful and feeling connected.

Two years ago I remember being incredibly lonely.  Despite having a few “best friends” and being surrounded by people, I wasn’t very happy.  I was struggling to make ends meet, I had a boyfriend who didn’t really support my life goals and I often felt disconnected & couldn’t say why.  I ran alot and I prayed a lot.  The only thing that really clicked was a faint idea that things would get better if I just kept up, if I just found something greater to connect to, something to believe, something to love, something to do.  I started doing yoga more.  I spent less time going “out” and more time in with myself, learning to sew, reading, watching Seinfeld episodes, cuddling my cat & eating pumpkin muffins.  Doing those things translated more to happiness than being in a bar, out dancing or shopping. I lost two of my best friends and several boyfriends what I now see as a very brief and very strong growth period.

Yet, it took more time for me to realize that life wasn’t about being seen or heard, but being present and enjoying each moment for what it is.  And along the way, I’ve found myself beginning to appreciate the struggles, because each one brought me that much closer to this moment.

Cheeto’s kicking me.  He has been most of the day.  10 years ago I never would have guessed I’d have met Michael and have decided to have this baby.  However, 10 years ago, I also didn’t know what flip flops were, so you never can tell what’s waiting around the corner.

In eleven more weeks, I hope we get to meet our son.  I can’t wait.  I’m nervous, excited and very happy to share some of the many things I love about life with him.  We’ll never be bored. 

Ps.  I’m also grateful for the latest David Sedaris book.  I heart David Sedaris.  Micheal teases that I have a crush on him.  It’s true-I would totally let David Sedaris read me a bedtime story, but only if I got to have Cheeto and Michael in bed with me. 

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