irritable.

It’s week 16.  The kid is around 4-6 inches long, depending on which book/website you read.  All that means for me is sleep is awkward and very few of my pre-pregnancy clothes fit.  The fetus however is supposedly moving about, sucking in fluid, starting to hear and can detect light/darkness.  The legs are also proportionate now and most, if not all of the major systems are functioning.  The next big task is to grow in size and put on baby fat. 

As for the carrier, I’ve been having sinus problems for the last 2-3 weeks.  I knew it was coming, but kept hoping I’d be one of those pregnant women whose allergies go away; I think that was an urban myth that got published to keep pregnant women from knocking over their partners between all the other symptoms we have.  I figure since I got the prego acne, I’d score on that end, but that was too ambitious.

Really, there’s not much to complain about in the second trimester, I feel better than I did a month ago-minus sinus/cold.  My appetite is making a come back, I sometimes forget I’m pregnant and I have some energy. I don’t have the huck syndrome anymore and I can sit for a few hours without thinking about strangling Michael for torturing me.  I’ve acclimated to the other symptoms, so there’s not much to write about in that regard.

But, today, I’m tired and grumpy.  I’ve had three trips to the doctor’s office recently to be told: pregnant is a time of great suffering, etc, etc in other words-no meds for you. Then told again that it was a “process.”  Now I know why my clients hate it when I use that word.  And then to be told, well, I guess we can put you on one of your allergy medications, but you should go home and ride this viral thing through.  Ride it through, like I’m in a rodeo and there’s a timer.  But this is no rodeo and so I should continue to sneeze, cough at night, be tired, have headaches because my sinuses are so backed up and just blow my nose to relieve some of the pressure because there’s fluid in/around my ears.  But, I got the green light to take the occasional knock out dose of benedryl, use cough drops and I have some ear numbing drops. 

But, I’m stubborn and short term relief isn’t enough for me to envision the fetus drunk on benedryl and the ear drops work, but when they don’t, the pain feels stronger.  So, I sit around and complain to myself and try not to act like a martyr, but I suspect I do.

Yeah, I’m not big on being sick.  I wasn’t even excited about getting three days off of work.  I’m annoyed.

I don’t want to be sick.  I want to be well.  I want to be at work, not burning through my leave so I can ride out a cold and wait for my sinuses to open back up so I stop feeling like I sucked on a cactus last night. 

However, this a process and so in the mean time I’m reading, watching bad reruns on tv, eating, drinking water and juice and harassing Michael at work.

But, the fetus, the fetus is fine.  The fetus loves hot dogs of any sort: regular dogs with mustard, chili dogs, chicago dogs and corn dogs.  The fetus also still loves fruit.  And oddly the latest development is that I can’t stand meat; the idea of it makes me want to throw up.  I was on the chicken train there for a moment, but I abruptly got off.  Now the idea of chicken is akin to removing toe nails with pliers.  So, I’m trying to eat peanut butter, cashews, beans, eggs and beef whenever I can-in addition to the hot dog obsession. Yesterday I put some ground beef in my cart and nearly left cart in the grocery store and later when I cooked it, I covered it and hid in the bedroom until it was done. 

On the upshot, I had my first gender baby dream last night.  I dreamt our Cheeto/Cheeta was a girl and we were shopping for Christmas decorations with her.  Michael was carrying her around, she looked like a little chubby version of me, which makes sense, but is strange to think that I might have a little brown skinned black haired mini troll growing inside of me.  But, the kid was talking, and had memorized our shopping list.  It was strange, but heart warming to think that we’re a family and we’re going to get bigger.

My friend had her baby yesterday.  I was happy for her, but also jealous she got to meet her kid already.  I think that’s the hardest part about being pregnant, once you get attached you get impatient and want the kid here now.  But, I’ve got 5 more months to go and I wouldn’t want to meet the kid a second before she is done growing. 

 

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